Wednesday, 15 December 2010

First Aid for Geographers

Baines and Humphrey killing a crocodile
© Royal Geographical Society with IBG

O People of Blogland
do you remember the mad sock man?
I bring good tidings!
The mad sock man has an older brother
and he comes out of the wilderness
to teach First Aid to Geographers.

Wilderness Man wears three shades of sand:
Gobi sand trousers;
Kalahari sand shirts
and Negev sand waistcoat.
The waistcoat is accessorized with badges multiple
(think of an extreme outdoors organisation
and the badge is there looking weatherbeaten);
carabiners dangle from pockets
and the belt has three pouches of different sizes
which have obviously been hand crafted
from deer? bison? musk ox? that he has shot.
He has different sized multi task tools
for different environments
(city/high altitude/white water rivers)
but they are all useless in comparision
to the handforged knife with carved handle
that has travelled with him since he was a lad.
His mates have all served in Special Forces
and so he can do surgery
using only gaffer tape and pieces of roll mat.
It is a matter of minutes to make a stretcher
out of 40m of rope and some pebbles.

Wilderness Man introduces himself and then begins:
"First, you must assess the scene...
if your casualty has been attacked by a rogue crocodile
you are in immediate danger
and your priority is to send someone with a shotgun
to kill the crocodile and make the scene safe...."

MrsM sighs and leans back in her seat.
At last...a first aid course
that is suitable for her needs

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